Ask Seanlai

Great question.  No idea.  Childhood shit.  Religion.  Somewhere someone thought pleasure was bad.  The idea caught on.  Then churches and leaders figured out they could control people thru fear.  Kind of like the boogie man. 

Sex isn’t shameful.  Pleasure isn’t bad.  If it feels good, it is good.  If it feels bad, it is bad.

It’s just that simple.

Be Enthusiastic.  And, only have sex with someone you REALLY like.

Love and Like are different.  Some days you like your partner; some days you don’t. 

On the days you don’t like them, listen to Learning to Love and Relationship Tip of The Day. 

On the days you do, listen to SEXUnSHAMED. There you will find tips, tricks, and shame free fun. 

Great Sex starts out of the bedroom.  It starts with a good morning kiss or text.  It culminates in mind-blowing, soul-searing orgasms at night. Every damn day.  If you get hard or wet every time your lover touches you, you’re doing it right.

Show up fully.  Be a present partner.  Do you the best way you can.  Give instead of take, show up with a loving spirit.  Go into everything with how much can you give, not how much can you get.  Make it your job to make someone else’s life easier and watch how much sex you get. 

Stay in shape.  You might love your lover, but if they have let themselves go don’t say a word.  Don’t beat up on them with your harsh judgement. 

Be easy about it. Being hard on someone means no one gets hard.  J

Just eat healthy, drink water, and don’t skip desert.  Check out my friend Danielle’s body transformation programs.  Take care of you and teach by the clarity of your example.  Compliments get you way more sex than criticism. 

By not denying you have it. Imagine jealousy is like a small child inside you, who is screaming for attention.  But, instead of loving on and soothing the baby, you smack it, call it an awful name and lock it in a tiny room.  When that baby screams and screams you rush in the room and shake it. Then you expect the baby to calm down?

That’s jealousy.  A scared angry baby.  And all it needs is love.

Meditate Daily.  It will soothe the baby.  Checkout my playlist of guided meditations. 


That could totally happen.  And so what? Broken heart’s suck, but they are not fatal. 

Here’s our society:

Stay together at all costs.

You can be as awful as you want, but made a promise to will stay with you.

I will demand you fulfill all my needs

I don’t want to be with you, but I made that promise.

We were taught a relationship “success” is staying together until one of you dies. 

And that sucks.   So many unhappy people stay together because of childhood shit, religion, fear of being alone, and because it’s what we saw our parents do.  Mine were always fucking or fighting, how about yours?

Relationships are part of the ebb and flow of life.    If it’s not working, that’s ok, every relationship leads us to the next delicious place in life.   And since we are all going to the same place when we die, you don’t have to worry about succeeding.   

Meditation will change your life for the better.  I PROMISE.  The only relationship I focus on is the one between Me and Me. If I do that one well, every other relationship in my life works. Remember, If it feels. good, it is good.  If it feels bad, it is bad.