What do building relationships, excellent communication, and team-building have in common?
If you do these things well, they will they will exponentially grow your professional life.
At work, you aren’t afraid to ask for what you want at work. You show up for ‘mandatory fun’. You communicate endlessly via email and meetings.
There’s so much emphasis on work life balance, but who are you after 5:00?
I have an attorney client who is intelligent and well-spoken. He’s open about sex, his desire for excitement, and his need for variety. So why does he clam up when he and his wife talk about sex?
Because people are people, and everybody’s scared.
Every problem can be boiled down to one statement: I am not good enough and now I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
Don’t believe me?
- “I lost my job” Now my wife will know that I am not a good provider. She’s going to go home to her parents because ‘I am not good enough’ and now I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
- “I’m declaring bankruptcy” I can’t tell my family because they will say I’m a failure. Clearly ‘I am not good enough’ and now I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
- “I’m fat” My partner will find someone skinnier because I am not good enough and I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
- “Sex is boring” My wife is unsatisfied and it’s my fault. She will find someone else and leave me for him because ‘I am not good enough’ and now I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
- “He wants an open relationship” I’m not enough for my husband. He’s going to have sex with her and leave me because ‘I am not good enough’ and now I’m afraid I won’t be loved.
Everyone has the same fears, the same insecurities and the same opportunities.
At work you’re a Rockstar. You know your job, you do it well, and you usually get what you want.
Why is that? Because you went to school, and/or you got trained. Making money mattered so you took a leap and figured it out.
How much schooling or training did you get for your sex life? #PornsNotReal
How did your parents do teaching you about healthy relationships?
Who taught them how to be sexy? Who taught you how to ask for what you want?
If you said no one, congratulations you’re in the majority!
You’re a grown-up. It’s time to treat your personal life with the same attention to detail you do at work.
Conversations about sex is not shameful. Sex is a natural fun part of life. It’s meant to be explored and enjoyed.
If you are like my client and afraid you’ll be judged, check yourself. Your fear isn’t about them. And unless you are a mind-reader, you don’t really know what they think or how they feel.
Sex allows you to be as close to other humans as possible. You’re naked, vulnerable and beautiful.
Single people: You lucky ones get to figure you out when no one is around. Then when you are in a relationship, you get to be a patient and loving teacher.
Partnered people: ‘Training’ your lover on the best ways to arouse you is a joy. Treating them well enough so they stay is a privilege.
So here’s a hot new business idea. Bring the communicative, problem-solving-you home and watch how every part of your life increases in value.
Until Next Time,
Stay Sexy and bring your A GAME home.